Let’s be honest – none of us like thinking about death. We joke about where we’d like our ashes scattered or who will inherit the family Monopoly board, but when it comes to the serious stuff – wills, pensions, and funeral plans – most of us put it off.
In fact, while a quarter of Brits think about their mortality weekly, fewer than half have done anything about it.
But ignoring it won’t make it go away, and failing to plan could leave your family with an overwhelming burden when the time comes.
That’s why Peter Thornton, former Chief Coroner of England and Wales, has written a no-nonsense guide to getting your affairs in order – and his number one piece of advice? Create a ‘death file’.
Thornton, 78, has spent years dealing with the aftermath of untimely deaths. He knows better than most that sudden tragedies can leave loved ones scrambling for essential paperwork and struggling to fulfil final wishes.
His solution? A simple, organised file containing all the vital information your family will need.
‘It’s not about being morbid,’ he told the Times, ‘it’s about being practical. If you love your family, help them out when they’ll need it most.’
So what exactly should be in this file? Thornton’s advice is simple – put in as much as you can, update it regularly, and tell someone where to find it.
Peter Thornton (above), former Chief Coroner of England and Wales, has written a no-nonsense guide to getting your affairs in order
While a quarter of Brits think about their mortality weekly, fewer than half have done anything about it (stock)
Here’s his essential checklist:
- A copy of your will
- Birth certificate, marriage certificate
- NHS card, NHS number
- GP contact details
- Family and dependants (names, addresses etc)
- NI and tax reference numbers
- Details of any accountant, financial adviser, probate solicitor
- Bank account details
- Insurance policies, pension
- List of income, savings
- List of regular outgoings, debts
- Property details
- Other assets, including car
- Any advance decision (living will)
- Any registered lasting power of attorney
- Your wishes for burial or cremation
- Your other wishes (if any) for the funeral
- Any other reasonable wishes
- A short history of your life and family (if you wish)
- Digital information: usernames and passwords (or where to find them)
Thornton warns against leaving it too late, explaining that many people only start thinking about their final years when they’re already facing health struggles.
‘The best time to do this is in your 50s or early 60s – before things become too difficult,’ he said.
He explained: ‘There will sometimes be inheritance tax, you may own a home, the difference between being married or not can be huge, particularly if there are children.
‘You can’t stop people challenging wills when there are multiple, complicated marriages, but it makes it doubly important to sort out your wishes before you go.’
Beyond the legal aspects, putting your affairs in order ensures that your loved ones are not left searching for vital information at a time of emotional distress.
‘If you put your affairs in order and leave a list of requests, it’s a way of having a voice when you become incapable or die. You can say how you would like your health issues treated and your finances arranged at the end. It should give you comfort,’ remarked Thornton.
He also encouraged older people to stay independent for as long as possible, to keep active, manage their own finances, and maintain social connections (stock)
He also encouraged older people to stay independent for as long as possible, to keep active, manage their own finances, and maintain social connections: ‘I play my guitar, I’m picking up German, and I work. I have six part-time jobs.’
But he warns that frailty can come quickly: ‘Three-quarters of those aged 75-plus have at least two long-term medical conditions. Stuff can happen to any of us at any time, so just do it when you have a spare moment.’
One of the biggest concerns people have about later life is the fear of suffering in their final months.
‘A right to die law could take years, it’s not necessarily just round the corner. I support it in theory, but better to look at hospices now.’ he recommended.
He also believes older people need greater protections: ‘We need to protect against pensioner poverty, reform the care system, encourage the elderly to have a more active and social life, avoid digital exclusion and stay positive and optimistic.’
Death may be inevitable, but chaos doesn’t have to be. By taking simple steps now, you can ensure that your wishes are known, your finances are in order, and your loved ones are spared unnecessary stress.
As Thornton puts it: ‘You can just say, it will be what it will be – but that should be an active choice. You might even find it strangely satisfying putting everything in order.’
So, next time you’re tempted to binge-watch another TV series, why not take an hour to start your death file instead? It might just be the most thoughtful thing you ever do for your loved ones.
