Ten years ago, I was 28, single and bruised from too many toxic relationships. I’d started to see that I was stuck in a looping pattern, in which my relationship history was fast becoming my relationship future.
Toxic relationships seemed to follow me everywhere and I was deeply unhappy, despite the great success I was having in my work as a business professional.
For many years I’d been throwing money at my problems to make them go away but, finally, I realised that my efforts were futile. Money couldn’t solve this issue – I needed to go deeper.
So I tried every healing therapy I could find: hypnotherapy, yoga, breathwork, meditation, inner-child work and many more.
While some methods fared better for me than others, what I quickly realised is that there are certain techniques that universally work for everyone.
Drawing on those tools which I’d learned were particularly effective, I performed an exercise one night, just before I went to sleep, in which I essentially asked the Universe to bring me real love.
Two weeks later, I met a beautiful woman called Mandy. We fell in love, we’ve been married for six years and we have three gorgeous children.
I essentially asked the Universe to bring me real love, Oliver Nino writes. Two weeks later, I met a beautiful woman called Mandy Morris (pictured together)
That simple exercise changed my life for ever – and it could change yours. But don’t just take my word for it.
As a spiritual healer who has spent almost two decades teaching millions of people to create the life they desire by unblocking mental and emotional obstacles in their sleeping hours, I receive thousands of emails a month from my students sharing their success stories.
Even if you’ve been through debilitating ups and downs in your love life (or in other areas too; my techniques can help you with health, sleep, vitality, mental clarity and so much more), I believe that you can actively create the life of your dreams right here and now.
What’s more, you don’t need to believe in any of the New Age woo-woo stuff – you don’t actually need to believe in anything at all! Just be open to my exercises and soon enough you’ll be using them to help yourself step into a life of greater abundance, peace, joy and purpose.
So why before bed? The period before falling asleep marks a natural hypnotic state during which brain waves slow down and the mind is ripe for reconditioning. When we’re in this state, we can plant new ideas, set out new intentions, that will bypass our often loud and opinionated conscious mind that says things like, ‘Well, that’s not very realistic, is it?’
As that habitually overbearing voice recedes, the subconscious mind can readily receive and absorb new messages and ideas – such as our vision of love, or perfect health, or our intent to make better decisions – as if they are real… and then, they will be. From this place, I believe we literally make magic.
Scientists have suggested that approximately 5 per cent of our brain functions are conscious and deliberate, and 95 per cent are subconscious and automatic.
The French psychologist Émile Coué (born in 1857) was well aware of this and developed a technique known as Optimistic Autosuggestion, where he encouraged depressed patients to repeat the now well-known affirmation, ‘Every day in every way I am getting better and better,’ several times before falling asleep. Some of them genuinely believed the statement, while others were less convinced – but they nevertheless still experienced positive results, and there are documented letters from several of his patients who reported major improvements in their physical and mental health.
This is why working with the subconscious is so powerful; it’s where we can start to unlock more of our potential.
When our subconscious mind has absorbed what we want to manifest, we start experiencing it as if it were reality, Oliver Nino writes
Our conscious beliefs don’t necessarily matter when we’re seeking a better life; when our subconscious mind has absorbed what we want to manifest, we start experiencing it as if it were reality.
All it takes to manifest the life of your dreams is a few minutes before bedtime – but before you follow my exercises, it’s vital first to prepare yourself by cleansing any unwanted energy you may have absorbed from others during the day.
I call this ‘energy hygiene’ and I encourage you to make the four foundational practices (below) a regular part of your bedtime routine. In the same way we brush our teeth and floss every night, practising energy hygiene is fundamental to our overall health.
Energy hygiene – clear negativity
Exercise one: Clear and open your third eye, ears and heart.
Follow these three steps to release any negative energy you might have absorbed during the day and reclaim your sleep as a time to heal and recharge.
Step one: Release the debris of the day from your third eye.
Your third eye, which is located in the middle of your forehead, is a powerful energy centre that activates your intuition.
You don’t want negative energies polluting it, so say to yourself, ‘I’m ready to release whatever is draining my third eye of energy and vitality, and to bring in my intuitive power and highest vision’.
Imagine white light coming down from the skies, sending all the gunk in your third eye outside of you with a giant whoosh, then replacing it with positive, love-based energy.
Cleanse any unwanted energy you may have absorbed during the day, Oliver Nino writes
Step two: Clear out your ears of any toxic words.
We also have energy centres in our ears, which are constantly picking up words, thoughts, beliefs and vibrations from others.
Say to yourself, ‘I’m ready to release whatever is draining my ears of energy and vitality’.
Visualise that same light coming through your ears in the form of a little tornado, clearing out any harsh or unkind sentiments that infiltrated your ears during the day and filling them instead with words of kindness and positivity.
Step three: Unblock your heart of toxic attachments.
Your heart is primarily where you store all the negative energy you’ve absorbed throughout the day. It also has the largest and most powerful electromagnetic field in your body, so you want to make sure it’s clear of any negative influences.
Say to yourself, ‘I’m ready to release whatever is draining my heart of energy and vitality, and to bring in love, joy, and rejuvenation’. Feel the white light whirling around your heart, pulling out any toxic influences and making it shine bright and strong.
Exercise two: Raise your vibration with three questions.
It’s so important to raise your vibration – or positive energy – before you go to bed, which will make you feel like you can move mountains. In fact, I’ve seen students and clients manifest what they want within 24 to 48 hours of doing this practice.
Ask yourself these three simple questions:
1. What am I grateful for?
2. What did I do right today?
3. What experiences do I wish to create and how do I want to feel about them?
As you reflect, you’ll feel both a sense of peace and excitement for all the beautiful things that are coming your way. Next thing you know, this high-vibrational energy will accumulate and flow into the next day, and you’ll begin to experience more of what you want.
Exercise three: Find the higher meaning.
We all experience disappointment, but this practice will help you transmute disappointment into possibility by asking: What’s the higher meaning of this?
When ‘bad’ things happen, it’s easy to feel punished. But it’s crucial to reframe these events – what you perceive as a disappointment might actually be leading you to the life you desire.
Maybe the person who broke up with you is moving out of the way so your heart can make room for your true soulmate.
Maybe your car stalling and making you late is a reminder to slow down and smell the roses.
Have faith that there is a higher meaning and that what you want is around the corner.
Exercise four: Connect with the you who has it all.
This final foundational practice is perhaps the most powerful, so I encourage you to spend the most time with it.
In fact, if you do this three nights in a row, your life might not ever be the same.
Imagine there’s a version of you right now who has it all, who is already living your best life with abundance, joy, peace, love, and wellness.
Imagine there’s a version of you right now who has it all, who is already living your best life with abundance, joy, peace, love, and wellness, Oliver Nino writes
Now say to yourself, ‘I choose to connect to the highest version of me, the one who has it all’.
Imagine white light pouring down from the sky and filling your entire body. Let yourself be bathed in the energy of this version of you. Bathe in that vibration, allowing it to change you – because it will.
Ready for love?
Now that you’ve cleaned out your negative energy, you’re ready to move on to attracting love and the healthy relationship of your dreams, using these three easy steps:
Practice one: Releasing blockages from the heart
For at least two weeks at bedtime, place your hand over your heart and say, ‘I’m now ready to release all the pain from everyone who’s ever hurt me. I release it fully. I’m ready for the love that’s waiting for me. I am loved. I am worthy. I am enough.’
As you do this, feel your heart fill up with a glowing pink light that helps to heal any wounded energy that may still be creating blockages within the largest energy field in your body, which is responsible for the flow of abundance and love.
Practice two: A ritual for healing the wounds of love.
This is the exercise with which I attracted my wife. Although the timing may vary depending on the amount of healing your wounds of love need, hundreds of my students have shared positive results with this ritual in just a short amount of time.
Write down the names of everyone who has ever hurt you in relationships. These can include romantic partners, as well as friends and family members. Whether or not you feel that they deserve to be forgiven, you are now ready to release the negative energy of their actions and your perceptions towards them.
Crumple up that piece of paper with all the names and burn it in a fire-safe bowl. Say, ‘I release you, I release you, I release you’.
Now, get another piece of paper and write down all the qualities you’ve ever wanted in a partner. Be as detailed as you like. Then say, ‘This or something better is coming my way’. Fold that piece of paper up and put it away.
Practice three: Make a commitment to self-love.
Finally, do at least three things you love this week – activities that make your heart sing. It’s a bit like dating your best self, and will help you to see and fall in love with the unique and beautiful soul that you are.
Do at least three things you love this week, Oliver Nino writes
A deep commitment to self-love enables us to attract a healthier relationship – and faster than we otherwise would. Therefore, the person who is exactly right for you will find you… and not in a state of woundedness, but in a state of empowerment and clarity.
Once you’ve learnt the foundational practices and some of the exercises, I encourage you to do them every single night, because it’s my firm belief that with these tools you can absolutely have the life of your dreams, even if it has not felt within reach in the past.
Remember that when you practise these exercises, it’s not a matter of overhauling everything in your day-to-day. It begins with becoming more receptive to new possibilities and inviting in a little magic, even if you’re sceptical.
You’ll also notice a shift in your energy levels, mood, connection to yourself and others – and your ability to optimise your time and energy throughout the day.
I’m confident that incorporating them into your bedtime routine will change your life as you discover even more abundance, joy, and purpose than you ever thought possible. Soon enough, you will realise that you’re not just dreaming about the life you’ve always wanted. You’ll be living it every waking moment.
Have fun – and sweet dreams!
Adapted from Do This Before Bed by Oliver Nino (Hay House, £18.99). © Oliver Nino 2025. To order a copy for £17.09 (offer valid to 22/3/25; UK P&P free on order over £25) go to mailshop.co.uk/books or call 020 3176 2937.
