Telling people to ‘think positive’, ‘smile’ or even insist that ‘it could be worse’ might be inadvertently harming the mental health of those around you.
Psychologists have called this ‘toxic positivity’ and warned that the character trait does more harm than good.
Dr Christine Schneider, a clinical psychologist based in Cambridge, explained that the ‘toxic’ mindset involves seeing any negative emotion as undesirable or unacceptable.
‘Toxic positivity disregards the reality of human emotions. It tells us that we should always stay upbeat and avoid difficult feelings, which only leads to emotional suppression and disconnection,’ she said.
However, there are a few tell-tale signs and one online test claims to spot the toxic trait in your answers to 10 questions.
The simple quiz asks test-takers to choose whether or not a range of statements describe their behaviour.
The more statements that participants feel ‘definitely’ aligns with their character the more likely they are to have traits of toxic positivity.
Statements include ‘I hide or mask my negative feelings,’ ‘I minimise my negative experiences with “feel good” statements or quotes,’ and ‘I brush difficult issues aside with statements such as “it is what it is.”‘
Dr Christine Schneider, a clinical psychologist based in Cambridge , explains that the toxic mindset will see any negative emotion as undesirable or unacceptable
The three minute test is based on the work of Dr Jamie Zuckerman, a psychologist based in Philadelphia, who identified and quantified signs of toxic positivity.
But quiz makers stress it is not designed to provide an accurate assessment, as this can only be done by a qualified professional.
Dr Schneider has also highlighted four signs that are instant red flags of toxic positivity.
First, dismissing someone’s emotions with phrases such as ‘it could be worse’, or ‘just stay positive’, which can invalidate real pain, she said.
Avoiding difficult conversations, or backing away from addressing negative emotions could also be a characteristic.
Similarly feeling guilty or ashamed for experiencing normal emotions such as sadness, frustration, or anger and pushing others to stay positive without acknowledging their real struggles are also warning signs.
However Dr Schneider stressed that some optimism can be healthy.
For example, those with a positive outlook will still acknowledge that people have negative feelings and challenges, but they won’t deny or dismiss emotions.
However, positivity becomes toxic when it causes someone to suppress negative emotions.
‘Over time, this can cause stress, anxiety, burnout, and even physical health problems. It can also prevent us from healing, as unaddressed emotions tend to manifest in unhealthy ways,’ Dr Schneider warned.
‘In our culture, we often equate positivity with strength and resilience, especially on social media. But true resilience comes from the ability to face and process difficult emotions, not to pretend they don’t exist,’ she added.
However, there are ways of breaking free from this surprisingly negative cycle.
The first step, she said, is to simply acknowledge your own emotions and allow yourself to understand and process any negative emotions.
This is a vital step because only once you have recognised and named your own emotions will you be able to heal, she explained.
‘Remind yourself that it’s okay to feel negative emotions.
‘Emotions are part of being human, and they don’t make you weak.
The next step is to seek connection. Dr Schneider explained that this can be done by taking to friends and family about what you are going through.
She warned that by not sharing your feelings with someone you trust, it could just cause feelings of isolation and ‘feed toxic positivity’.
Dr Schneider also suggests people set boundaries if they notice someone set a ‘positive-only agenda’ and redirect the conversation to protect their own emotions.
‘Challenge the narrative. Embrace vulnerability. Allow yourself the freedom to feel, because real emotional growth comes from being authentic, not perfect,’ she said.
