At first Sir Keir Starmer claimed he would ignore the Elon Musk row. ‘Most people are more interested in the NHS,’ he insisted airily. He then spent a quarter of an hour talking, with increasing bateyness, about… Elon Musk!
He was so worked-up that his teeth went horsey and he nearly snapped the pen he had borrowed from an aide. When Patterdale terriers are in this mood it is better not to give them a glimpse of your postman’s ankle.
Mr Musk, the world’s richest (but not necessarily sanest) man, had plainly eaten into the old stodge. Yes, Elon had sent our startled bog-brush round the U-bend. It is not impossible Lady Starmer heard a fair amount of this stuff on the sun-loungers during their rest-cure in Madeira.
Now Sir Keir was back to the daily grind, visiting an orthopaedic centre in Surrey. We had been told to expect a policy speech, another of those important re-sets. The day was going to be about NHS reform. It ended up being all about that $@! Musk.
Hard to know which of them will be needing the white-coated orderlies first, really.
Sir Keir’s vow that he would not deign to discuss Mr Musk’s criticisms lasted no longer than many new-year resolutions. As we dieters say when offered a chocolate biscuit: ‘Oh, go on then.’
A second journalist raised the matter and Sir Keir was unable to resist. He flicked to a special page in his notes and started reading (more accurately, shouting) a denunciation of the Musks of this world. He spoke of their ‘lies and misinformation’ and ‘a very slippery slope’ and ‘jumping on the poison of a far-Right bandwagon’.
Another reporter tutted about Mr Musk’s roughing-up of Jess Phillips, minister for safeguarding. Help, the safe-guarding minister needed safe-guarding. Sir Keir duly sprang to Ms Phillips’s defence.
Sir Keir Starmer was so worked up about Elon Musk his teeth went horsey and he nearly snapped the pen he had borrowed from an aide, writes QUENTIN LETTS
The PM’s vow not to discuss Mr Musk’s criticisms lasted no longer than many new-year resolutions
Moments later a Mail scribe asked about the future of Tulip Siddiq, the anti-corruption minister who has become entangled in allegations of, er, corruption. These are linked to her aunt, who ran Bangladesh, and the small matter of a flat Ms Siddiq just happened to be given in London’s Hampstead (on a Monopoly board it would be a blue square).
Sir Keir was less florid in his defence of Ms Siddiq than he was of Ms Phillips. Is Tulip for the compost heap?
What did you get for Christmas? A box of Bendicks mints? A pair of socks? No, a flat in Hampstead.
Sir Keir was disgusted that Kemi Badenoch had not defended Ms Phillips from Mr Musk. ‘If you’re not prepared to stand up,’ said the PM, ‘then you do need to seriously consider why you’re in politics in the first place.’
This from the man who kept a sly silence when serving in the Corbyn Terrors. Repeatedly Sir Keir conflated criticisms of Mr Musk and Mrs Badenoch. It was as if he thought they were one and the same.
He spat the words ‘Tory politicians’ at the floor. If you are going to criticise ‘lies and misinformation’ it might be better not to smear the wrong person.
Sir Keir duly sprang to the defence of safeguarding minister Jess Phillips
The Prime Minister was disgusted that Tory leader Kemi Badenoch had not defended Jess Phillips from Elon Musk
He also became noticeably sensitive – v. touchy indeed – about his time as chief prosecutor. Here he was, accusing others of being more interested in selfish political points than in helping rape victims, yet he himself just sounded defensive about his own record.
As night fell on Westminster we had a Commons statement about the grooming scandal from Yvette Cooper, home secretary. Her Tory shadow, Chris Philp, said ‘it is not far-Right to stand up for victims of rape’. Labour MPs went crazy. They moaned, hissed and threw superior stares at the ceiling.
Mary Creagh, an environment minister, sucked her tongue as if tasting salt. Yvette wobbled her head and did her impression of a shocked missionary. Mr Musk’s target, Ms Phillips, was sitting beside her, mouth agape, wrapping and unwrapping herself in a large cardigan.
Convinced of their special purity, they consider themselves beyond any possible reproach.
