When Anne turned down Paul’s marriage proposal for a third time in 1975, the small business owner, then aged 43, vowed never to ask her again.
Anne, aged 45 at the time, had been married before, and simply didn’t see the point of doing it again.
Fortunately, her refusal didn’t dent their relationship at all and they lived happily as a couple, sharing a home, finances and their lives for the next 46 years.
In fact, the couple were so inseparable that neighbours and friends just assumed they were married.
Cruel: Paul was thrown out of the home he had lived in for 35 years at the age of 89 after his long-term partner died and her children inherited the property
Sadly, Anne died aged 91 in February 2021, leaving Paul living alone as an 89-year-old in their three-bedroom bungalow in Kent. Then, just six months later, Paul got the shock of his life: a letter ordering him to leave his home.
‘I thought it must be some kind of mistake,’ Paul says today. ‘The letter was from a lawyer and said I needed to leave my home by the end of September. I’d lived in that home for 35 years and was determined to stay put.’
However, Anne’s son and daughter, Toby and Lesley, now in their 60s, were the sole inheritors of Anne’s estate and now owned the house, which had been put in Anne’s name when she and Paul bought it.
The siblings wanted to sell the property to inherit the value as cash.
Paul had no choice, but to leave his home and watch Anne’s cherished belongings taken away.
Nor was he entitled to a penny when the home he’d lived in for three decades sold for more than £600,000 at the end of 2021.
With the help of his daughter Carole, who remortgaged her home, Paul was able to buy a two-bedroom flat in a peaceful retirement complex in South-East England.
Three years later, Paul doesn’t know where Anne’s ashes are and, distressingly, the only thing he has left of hers is a dressing gown.
He says: ‘Me and Anne always said that we would be fine if one of us died because we would always have a roof over our heads. We never thought this could happen – she thought I would be able to stay in the house.’
For this reason, Anne failed to designate her wishes in her will. When the will was read out to Paul, there was no mention of the property.
Paul’s experience is a cautionary tale for couples who live together in later life but do not get married.
Cohabiting is now so common that just one in ten couples wait until marriage to move in together. More than 6.8million people in the UK now cohabit – the highest level since records began in 1994.
Shut out: Paul was not entitled to a penny when the home he’d lived in for three decades sold for more than £600,000 at the end of 2021
But few are aware of just how precarious their future finances will be if they never make their relationship official in the eyes of the law.
If a cohabiting partner dies and they didn’t make a will, the surviving partner has no automatic right to inherit anything from their estate.
Yet almost half of people believe that cohabiting couples have the same legal rights as married couples upon death, according to a survey by law firm Stowe Family Law.
Contrary to widespread belief, the concept of common-law husband and wife does not exist in law – and, importantly, it does not give either party any rights.
Whether a couple has lived together for a month or 30 years, there is no difference in the way their assets are divided as inheritance or split in a break-up. Cohabiting couples do not enjoy the same tax breaks that married couples do.
In Paul’s case, any money left to him would have been liable to inheritance taxes at a rate of 40 per cent. If he and Anne had been married, there would have been no charge.
Couples in civil partnerships are afforded the same legal rights and protections as those who are married.
A financial planning expert at wealth management firm Rathbones says: ‘Unlike for married couples or those in a civil partnership, there is no legal right to property not jointly owned.
‘If you have children together, then this could mean your partner risks not being able to stay in the family home or have enough money to bring up your children.’
Paul says he saw his whole life uprooted ahead of his 90th birthday.
He adds: ‘I was very low and didn’t want to move out – I didn’t want to carry on. A couple of months later I had a heart attack from the stress.’
But Paul found he had no claim on the three-bedroom bungalow which they had downsized to in the 1980s. Paul had run a successful shop and his finances were tied up in the business so, to keep their risks separate, it was only Anne’s name on the land registry.
Paul says: ‘When you’re in love you do everything together and share everything. We never questioned it because I loved her and she loved me.’
As Paul has come to learn, couples can live together for decades, share bills and even children.
But if the relationship breaks down, or a partner passes away, one person can be left with nothing. In some cases it doesn’t even matter if you paid toward the mortgage or the initial deposit.
Contrary to widespread belief, the concept of common-law husband and wife does not exist in law – and, importantly, it does not give either party any rights
If the home is in one person’s name because they either already owned it when the relationship started or have since bought it with their own money, this can result in one partner being kicked out of their family home by the beneficiaries of the deceased’s estate.
You will have more rights if you are listed as a joint owner of the home. If you are ‘joint tenants’, you have equal rights to the property, regardless of who paid more. And on the death of one of the partners, their share in the property will pass to the survivor.
If it is held as ‘tenancy in common’, each tenant can own a different share of the property.
For example, if one partner provides 40 per cent of the house deposit and pays 40 per cent of the mortgage, their share will be 40 per cent of the house price, whether it goes up or down. However, this has to be clearly spelled out in writing.
There is an exception. When Paul first received the eviction notice in 2021, his solicitor told him he had a chance to claim on ‘beneficial interest’ if he had evidence that he had supported Anne in any way or paid towards the home.
This could include old utility bills, receipts from major works on the home or mortgage payments. But Paul and Anne paid for the house in cash and so there was little paper trail over the years.
Paul says: ‘I told him [the solicitor] you must be joking. I paid for all the outings, all the birthday celebrations and all the holidays. But do you think I’ve kept restaurant receipts or energy bills from 40 years ago?
‘I couldn’t prove it so my solicitor said I could take Toby and Lesley to court, but I would lose and it could cost £40,000-plus.’
‘We all got on well like one family for 50 years. My son and daughter used to play with them in the garden in the paddling pool when they were four years old. I’ve known them their whole lives.
‘My daughter Carole, who had grown up with Lesley, was distraught when she was told that if she wanted to speak to either of them it would have to be through a solicitor.
‘When I went to check in on Toby to see how he was coping with the death of his mother, he didn’t invite me into the house and I haven’t spoken to him since. He didn’t even come to Anne’s wake and will only talk through a solicitor.
‘Children can change like that: one minute they can love you, the next they can hate you. But I never expected it.’
In a cruel further twist, Paul is selling his business for around £300,000 – and Toby and Lesley are claiming half of the proceeds. This is because Anne was also listed as an owner of the business on Companies House.
He says: ‘Anne and I were in love and both trusted one another. But at 92, I now wake up bitter each morning. To others I say, learn from me and for goodness’ sake get married if you just live together.’
- All names have been changed.
j.beard@dailymail.co.uk
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