I can’t believe it’s eight years since England last beat Scotland at Twickenham. It was my 50th cap and I remember it well. The Scots had given it the biggun all week, as they always do, and we put 61 points on them.
At half-time, on the walk into the changing rooms, I made a point of barging between the massive Gray brothers, Jonny and Richie. ‘Oi, lads, any chance of you lot turning up?’ I said. ‘It’s not a training run.’
I sat down with my half-time Lucozade and questioned myself for a moment. ‘Oh no, have I just poked the bear?’ But we pumped them, right from the off, and it felt fantastic. It was our biggest win over the wee Jimmies and I’d have laughed you out of the room if you told me we’d only win one of the next seven against them.
Things turned bleak in 2018. We had won back-to-back championships, winning 18 Tests on the trot, then things changed. We were getting flogged during the week by Eddie Jones and we were going into games completely shattered. That year was the first time most of the boys had lost to a Scottish team and Eddie lost his nut.
‘There are lot of players in this room who won’t get a chance to do this again,’ he barked. Thanks, mate. He hammered us and later that night we saw these videos of Finn Russell and Greig Laidlaw, steaming drunk, topless, ties around their head, singing Flower of Scotland. There’s a stereotype that Scotland would only ever get up for one game; usually England. They rolled over and let Ireland tickle their tummies last week but they will still come to Twickenham as favourites.
They turn up for the Calcutta Cup like it’s a World Cup final because they’ve hated the English for ever, even though this generation of England players had nothing to do with Edward Longshanks pillaging their country in the 13th century.
England entertain Scotland at Twickenham on Saturday in their third game of the Six Nations
England haven’t won at home vs Scotland since 2017 (above-Danny Care scores in that match)
We pumped them, right from the off that day and it felt fantastic even though I did bait the Gray brothers at half-time and was worried that I had poked the bear (above – Marler after the game)
They shout ‘Send him home again’ with real venom during their anthem, although I’d like to know how much Duhan van der Merwe has really bought into the history of Anglo-Scottish wars.
Speaking of Duhan, he always plays an absolute blinder in this fixture. He’s a fine specimen of a man and has scored some incredible tries. England need to starve him of any loose ball and cut off their counter-attack.
I think England will try to turn the match into an arm wrestle, keeping the ball in play for longer phases.
If you’re going to kick, make sure it goes long and off the pitch so you can attack Scotland at the lineout through Ollie Chessum and Maro Itoje.
If you’re going to kick and keep the ball on the pitch, at least make Duhan turn and force him to kick, because he’s not in the team for his tactical kicking.
There are a lot of complaints about Duhan being from South Africa but that doesn’t bother me like it used to.
I was always amazed by the number of English accents in the Scotland team, especially Ryan Wilson’s weird Cockney twang. Now there are a lot of South African accents.
Scotland have got a small player pool and that’s why they have to look elsewhere. Duhan and Pierre Schoeman are great players, but they’ve had to go to Scotland for an opportunity because they weren’t getting into the South African set-up.
The 61-21 victory was our biggest win over Scotland despite their confidence before the game
I can’t believe we haven’t beaten them in so long and last year’s defeat was particularly bad
Scotland’s alickadoos really rubbed it in our faces and it was a disastrous trip to Edinburgh
England don’t have any ‘project players’ but have had their share of players born elsewhere.
When I was younger, I played with Maurie Fa’asavalu, the Samoan monster at Harlequins. One day I decided to go up to him and challenge the fact that he’d played rugby league for Great Britain. I was quite a gobby youngster and I said, ‘Mo, that shouldn’t be allowed, mate’ and he just gave me this sternest stare. ‘Pardon?’
Having played with loads of boys who are eligible for other countries, it doesn’t bother me anymore.
As long as they’re putting their body on the line, and fully invested, then I have no issue with it. We live in a borderless world where sports teams are multi-cultural environments.
So good luck to Duhan and Schoeman but I really hope England stick one on them this weekend. We’ve waited long enough. I can’t bear the idea of hearing their Rattlin’ Bog celebration chant all over again. It makes my ears bleed.
All the Scottish alickadoos were gloating through the post-match function at Murrayfield last year.
They were loving it, rubbing our faces in it. The only thing I enjoyed about that trip to Edinburgh was the post-match food because they put on a fantastic spread.
Last year’s England performance was dross and there will be a lot of stirring up those memories in camp this week. We had our debrief in York and it was a dark place to be; it felt like a bit of a turning point.
Duhan van der Merwe is most certainly the danger man and he always turns up in this clash
Scotland treat the Calcutta Cup like it’s a World Cup final because they’ve always hated us
England have been pretty quiet in the press this week but I guarantee you there’s a lot being said behind closed doors.
The fact is that England have been the more impressive team during this campaign. Steve Borthwick gets a lot of heat but what about Gregor Townsend? The press moan about not having characters but Gregor’s not the most charismatic bloke out there. Why is he not under the pump? Are the Scottish journalists on the SRU payroll?
From an English side, the boys have got a point to prove. The victory over France will count for nothing unless they back it up. Everyone will just say France had a stinker, so if England don’t double down then the outside noise will start whirring up again.
Let’s hope they finally do the job. It’s about time the Calcutta Cup came back to England.
We’ve waited long enough.
