Three tips to stay calm during a stressful day, improve mental health
Having a really stressful day? Dr. Ali Mattu explains three simple ways to calm yourself down.
From rushing to buy last-minute gifts to racing to catch flights, the holidays can be a particularly hectic time of year.
Everyone responds to stress differently, with different triggers and a different return to normal. Stress isn’t inherently bad, but a natural response to any challenge, said Rajita Sinha, founding director of the Yale Stress Center.
Problems arise when stressful demands pile up. If grandma’s house is in chaos when you arrive or you have to spend a week with your screaming relatives, it may be tough to recover your sense of balance. When job stress and home stress compound each other and are unrelenting, it can be a prescription for illness, said Sinha, also a professor of psychiatry at Yale School of Medicine.
There are many ways to manage stress, Sinha said ‒ both during the holidays and year-round.
Here are six suggestions from her and others:
‘Take a breath’
The first step is acknowledging the stress, Sinha said.
“Take a breath ‒ a few breaths,” she said. “Maybe you can figure out what you have to do.”
Maintain healthy habits and break bad ones
The holidays move us out of our routines, said Dr. Christine Crawford, an adult and pediatric psychiatrist at Boston Medical Center.
This can add to stress but also can be seen as an opportunity, she said.
Still ‒ even, or maybe most of all at stressful times ‒ adults should stick to healthy habits. That means getting around eight hours of sleep per night, and aiming for at least 2.5 hours of exercise per week, which can be broken down into smaller chunks a day, said Rita Noonan, a deputy director for science and program at the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention’s Division of Population Health, in an email.
It’s also important to eat mainly healthy foods, such as fruits, vegetables, whole grains and fish. Noonan also recommended limiting unhealthy foods and alcohol; and avoiding smoking, vaping and drugs.
A lack of healthy routines takes a toll on our body’s ability to function properly, from cardiovascular health to depression. Winter months, with colder temperatures keeping people indoors and fewer hours of sunlight, can compound this, Crawford said.
During the holidays, returning to routines that make us feel like ourselves can help ease our stress, said Sinha, of Yale. This can include setting time out for daily stretching or healthy eating.
Give yourself a break
It’s also important to set boundaries, said Vaile Wright, a clinical psychologist and the American Psychological Association’s senior director. That could mean turning down another draining holiday gathering, or being honest with kids about the cost of gifts this year.
“We could all extend ourselves a little grace, and others,” Wright said. “Giving ourselves a break to not be perfect. To say no to something.”
Crawford also suggested trying to get away from smart phones. Social media creates unrealistic expectations of life, she said.
Connect with others
When we’re stressed, we might withdraw or be alone.
For introverts who feel overwhelmed having to host, it might be good to take some time to yourself.
But for others, this can compound feelings of loneliness or isolation.
Recognize that lots of people also feel stressed, said Crawford, a trustee at the Boys and Girls Clubs of Boston, which has gatherings for caregivers to talk through issues. It’s important to acknowledge those feelings, and to look for support from friends, family or others in the community.
By talking, Crawford said, “you realize that you’re not alone in carrying some of the worries and concerns that you have.”
The holidays allow us to also connect with others we don’t see often. Just asking how someone is doing can go a long way, not just helping a friend manage stress, but also yourself, she said.
Set goals
Wright, of the American Psychological Association, said the holidays can also be a great time to reflect on the year’s accomplishments.
We can use that time to help think of realistic goals for 2025, and to set targets for healthier behaviors, such as cutting down on smoking or alcohol.
With these successes, it helps give us a sense of agency, Wright said. To feel more in control.
This is also a good season to think about values or priorities.
If making memories is important to you, plan family gatherings around events, not gifts, she said — especially if a rent increase or higher grocery bills are hurting your wallet. If it’s spirituality, think about getting to a religious service, meditating or volunteering.
Get help
It’s important to get help if you’re struggling to cope with stress on your own, said Noonan, of the CDC. Health providers, like your primary care doctor, a counselor or your company’s Employee Assistance Program can help you talk through what you’re feeling.
If you or someone you know feels overwhelmed by stress and is in crisis, Noonan added, reach out to the free, confidential national Suicide and Crisis Lifeline by calling or texting 988 or visiting 988lifeline.org.
Additional resources:
This story was updated to correct a typo.
