Huddling around the water cooler to share a bit of juicy workplace scandal is becoming a big part of working life.
But it can also be a risky business, as getting a reputation as an unpleasant office gossip can seriously harm your social standing.
Now, scientists in the US have identified a cunning tactic that can help.
Even just slightly peppering your gossip with a bit of concern – as opposed to nastiness – makes people see you as more likeable, the academics report.
For example, you may want to say: ‘Kate got really drunk over the weekend; I hope she’s OK’, rather than ‘she’s such a drunken moron’.
Huddling around the water cooler to share a bit of workplace gossip is becoming an inevitable part of office life. Now, a study has found women justify gossiping by voicing concern about their target’s welfare (file photo)
The new study was led by Tania Reynolds, an assistant professor in psychology who studies gossip at the University of New Mexico.
‘Women who believe they are sincerely concerned about female gossip targets can effectively transmit reputation-tarnishing information about same-sex competitors, without harming their own social opportunities,’ Reynolds and colleagues say.
‘Findings suggest that negative gossip delivered with concern effectively harms female targets’ reputations while also protecting gossipers’ reputations.’
For the study, around 770 participants (both men and women) were presented with images of ‘gossip scenarios’ where an acquaintance gossips about another female.
In one scenario, the gossip was: ‘Lisa has been having sex with a lot of men lately without using condoms.’
But crucially, an extra bit of information was appended depending on whether the gossiper was showing ‘concern’ or ‘malice’.
For concern, the extra information was ‘I am worried about her’, while for the malice condition it was somewhat more brutal: ‘What a dirty sl**’.
This image shows a gossip scenario from the experiment. Participants saw the gossip delivered with concern (top) or malice (bottom)
Another gossip scenario was as follows: ‘Kate has been spending a lot lately. She is struggling to pay her credit card bills.’
Again, this was appended with the words ‘I wish I could help her’ (concern) or ‘what an idiot’ (malice).
Overall, the malicious female gossipers were evaluated as less trustworthy and less socially likeable by participants.
Female participants especially disliked malicious female gossipers, the researchers report.
More than males, females evaluated malicious gossipers as lacking concern, less trustworthy, and less desirable social partners.
Interestingly, male participants saw the women gossipers as more romantically desirable when they delivered their gossip statements with concern.
This image shows a gossip scenario depicting the name and photo of a female gossiper (left), her gossip statement (centre), and the name and photo of her female target (right). The phrasing was manipulated to convey concern, malice, or a neutral tone
Conversely, the ladies being gossiped about with concern were perceived as less romantically desirable by the men.
This subtle distinction suggests that men find a concerned gossiper attractive, but not a concerning gossipee (one who is gossiped about with concern).
Another experiment testing face-to-face interactions found that a female gossiper was preferred as a social partner when she phrased her gossip with concern instead of malice.
And the academics also found that the women participants were less willing than the men to label a recent conversation as gossip.
Overall, the research suggests that exactly we word our gossip is crucial.
Essentially, if you feel the need to gossip, try and do it with a concerned slant rather than making it an all-out personal attack.
The researchers conclude: ‘Framing negative gossip with concern is socially advantageous.
‘Although gender stereotypes depict women as passive and yielding, women can be quite agentic and competitive.
‘Women’s denial of their own malicious motivations is a feature – not a bug – of female psychology.’
