My heart broke for the family of the tragic one-year-old found unresponsive in a vehicle outside her daycare centre this week.
Not just for the devasting loss of little Olivia for her parents, Etienne Ancelet and Kim Visconti, but also for the lifetime of judgment ahead of them.
How could someone really forget their own baby?
Sadly, I know only too well how it can happen. I’ve done it myself – but thankfully for my sake, without the tragic consequences Olivia’s parents now face.
Not long after my son Jonty was born, I strapped him into the car and headed into the local shopping mall… alone.
It was only after I’d done some window shopping and grabbed a trolley for groceries that I realised I’d forgotten my bags and walked back to the car to grab them.
Then, as I opened the backdoor, my blood ran cold when I caught a glimpse of Jonty’s little legs in his newly-installed car capsule, and panic tore through me.
I hadn’t been long – 10 minutes, maybe 15 – but it was mid-summer and statistically, it can only take a few minutes in soaring temperatures for tragedy to strike.
Baby Olivia’s Dad Etienne Ancelet and mum Kim Visconti paid tribute to their little girl saying she was the light of their life
Jonica Bray (pictured with her family) says she she knows things could have ended badly the day she forgot her baby Jonty in the car
Jonty was left in the car for around 10 minutes and it was only going back for my shopping bags that I remembered him, writes Jonica Bray (pictured with Jonty)
Children’s bodies can heat up five times faster than an adult and their major organs begin to shut down.
I hadn’t been distracted. Nothing unusual had happened. I just forgot him.
Thankfully Jonty was ok, but my experience and others far worse are not uncommon, with an average of 5,000 children being rescued from hot cars a year in Australia.
Forgotten Baby Syndrome (FBS) is the medical explanation for when parents leave a baby or young child in a locked car often ending tragedy.
Fathers are more prone to distractions, with a survey by Safe Kids Worldwide finding they are three times more likely to walk away without thinking about their child in their car’s backseat.
FBS often occurs when parents focus on future tasks instead of the moment, studies found, which can plunge a quiet or sleeping baby into potentially fatal danger.
Olivia’s father Mr Ancelet made the horrific discovery at 5.30pm when he arrived to collect Olivia from daycare but staff told him she had never been dropped off.
He then found Olivia inside his car where she had been mistakenly left for hours while temperatures exceeded 30C. His piercing screams drowned out the rush hour drone.
Newaz Hasan left his 3-year-old Arikh in the car for six hours and only realised when he drove to pick up his other son
In February 2023 Newaz Hasan bundled his two sons into his car for the morning school run, dropping his eldest at primary school and believed he had dropped his youngest to daycare before returning to their Glenfield home.
But three-year-old Arikh Hasan, had been left in the car for six hours on a 35C day in Sydney’s south-west.
It wasn’t until his loving dad drove back to school and opened the door for his other son that he realised Arikh had been inside the entire day.
CPR was performed until paramedics arrived, but it was too late and the toddler couldn’t be saved.
‘There was nothing on my mind, I wasn’t distracted, nothing…I just forgot,’ Mr Hasan admitted at the time.
Fatal Distraction is another common cause of children being left in cars, but rather than just forgetting them, parents experience something out of the ordinary in the lead up to the event.
University of South Florida professor David Diamond, who specialises in the study of memory, has spent two decades looking into how children can be forgotten in this way.
University of South Florida professor David Diamond, (eft) who specialises in the study of memory, has spent two decades looking into how children can be forgotten in this way. Kidsafe NSW Executive Officer Christine Erskine (right) says there are a number of precautions parents can take to minimise the risk
Dr Diamond said interaction between two brain systems – the clear conscious cognitive memory and the subconscious memory – could explain these tragic cases.
He said any interruption to a routine can lead to a person’s habit system gaining control, by being in ‘autopilot mode’.
‘There are brain imaging studies to show that when you do something out of habit, that can actually suppress your conscious cognitive memory system and so you lose awareness of your plan,’ he said.
And he warns, it could happen to anyone.
‘When you look at the parents, you find that they’re incredibly normal, which means they’re attentive … These are loving parents, these are not negligent parents,’ he said.
In February 2015, Victorian mother Romy Zunde took her older child to school and believed she then dropped 22-month-old Noah at daycare.
It wasn’t until later that afternoon when she went to collect him again that she made the devastating discovery that he had died in the back seat of her car.
In a statement to police, sleep-deprived Ms Zunde said the childcare centre was very close to the family home.
Romy Zunde took her older child to school and believed she then dropped 22-month-old Noah (pictured) at daycare.
A simple wrong turn while she was in ‘autopilot-mode’ meant she went home directly instead of dropping him off.
‘[It was] a left turn directly opposite the right turn to our house. I can only assume I automatically made a right turn instead of a left,’ she said.
She also believes Noah must have fallen asleep in the car, meaning he was quiet in the back seat.
‘He was probably asleep in the car which is something he hardly ever did,’ she said.
The number of children dying in hot in Australia is rising and while newer cars are fitted with Occupant Detection Systems, a majority of cars don’t have the technology
Kidsafe NSW Executive Officer Christine Erskine says there are a number of precautions and simple reminders parents can implement to minimise the risk.
‘New cars have technology to alert you when a car seat belt hasn’t been disconnected,’ she told Daily Mail Australia. ‘However there are lots of older cars people are driving that don’t have that.
‘But you can put your keys, wallet, handbag or purse in the back seat with the child and will have to open the backdoor to retrieve them.
‘Alternately you can put their backpack on the front seat so you see it when exiting the car.
‘Mostly the kids doze off in a moving car so unless there is something very significant to jog your memory when you get out, you can easily forget.’
Looking back on that day with Jonty any of those simple tactics would have helped me remember him.
And while I try not to think about how else that day could have ended, each time I hear about another family living their worse nightmare just Olivia’s are, I am reminded of how lucky I am.
